


(Not) Fake Flirting on a (Not) Fake Date

by Cyrrus



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Lady and the Tramp Spaghetti, Monochrome Week 2020, Not-Fake Dating, Romance, Ruby and Yang are wannabe matchmakers, Weiss and Blake are hopeless romantics, terrible pickup lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23324251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyrrus/pseuds/Cyrrus
Summary: Seeing how close Weiss and Blake seem to be lately, Ruby and Yang set their friends up on a date. If only they knew that Weiss and Blake have already been dating for weeks.Not about to let an opportunity slide by, the two of them decide to play a joke on their matchmakers--by acting hopelessly romantic without an ounce of shame.The (reverse) fake dating AU for Monochrome Week.
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Weiss Schnee
Comments: 6
Kudos: 116





	(Not) Fake Flirting on a (Not) Fake Date

Eyes forward. Back straight. Hands in her lap. Those were the three lessons of date etiquette that Weiss had drilled into her head as a teenager. Whereas her parents intended for her to play the role of the diminutive heiress that charms her way into the heart of another company’s heir, Weiss put her knowledge to use elsewhere.

“I wish we knew about this restaurant sooner. They have everything,” Blake says, seated opposite Weiss. Her face is buried behind a menu with only two cat ears sticking out over the top to indicate it’s her behind there.

Elsewhere being dating Blake Belladonna, a decision she couldn’t be more thrilled with.

“Yes, well, it’s been ages since I last had the chance to explore Atlas’ shopping district. Small venues like this open and shut down by the week.”

“We’ll have to say thanks to Ruby and Yang for the referral.”

Ah yes, reason one and reason two that they're on this date. Weiss spares a glance across the restaurant, through a gaggle of waiters and waitresses and over a neighboring table, and spies a mass of yellow and dark hair seated at a booth. She gets only the briefest glimpses of their faces before they both duck behind their menus in unison. For a pair of wannabe matchmakers, they aren’t particularly subtle.

“Still over there?” Blake asks, having lowered her own menu to follow Weiss’s gaze.

She scoffs in amusement, nodding her head. “They are, and they’re definitely watching us.” When she turns her attention back to Blake, a smirk plays on her lips. When the sisters not-so-subtly suggested that Blake and Weiss “take an evening off with each other” and “oh look, we booked a reservation for two to a fancy restaurant but can’t make it,” Weiss blanked. Then it hit her with the force of Atlas itself falling from the sky.

They’re trying to set her and Blake up with each other.

...And they _still_ haven’t figured out that they’ve already been dating for weeks.

To Ruby and Yang’s credit, they must have figured something out if they suggested it in the first place. Maybe her and Blake sat too close together one too many times. Or the little looks they stole when the other wasn’t watching blossomed into stares. Or maybe they’d heard a late night makeout session. That’s certainly a possibility. Whatever the case may be, Weiss wasn’t about to pass up the chance for a free dinner date with her girlfriend.

“Shouldn’t we just tell them? There’s no point in hiding it this long,” Blake suggests, snapping Weiss out of her thoughts. She agrees, and she’s not entirely sure why she requested they keep it under wraps on that fateful day they decided to make it official. If she hazards a guess, she’d say it was an instinctive reaction. Fear of judgement from her friends and family, though the feeling has steadily been replaced with cold nonchalance. Of course there’s no real chance of rejection from anyone she actually cares about. Not since she cut out a few certain other people from her life.

But that’s enough self reflection for an evening. She came out to enjoy spending time with Blake, and no amount of repressed psychological issues are going to stop her. She nods once to her girlfriend’s idea but not without a mischievous little glint sparkling in her eyes.

“Let’s tell them when we return to the dorm, alright?”

“Why not now?”

“Well we’re pretending we haven’t noticed them, haven’t we?” To prove her point, she points her thumb over her shoulder in their direction. Although she can’t see it, she can tell from Blake’s chuckle that they darted behind their menus again. “I see this as an opportunity. They wanted to set us up? Let’s give them everything they want.”

Blake cocks her head in confusion, ears pointing forward to match. Weiss takes it as her cue. She reaches across the table and takes both of Blake’s hands into her own, entwining their fingers. She sighs in an oh-so dramatic way that almost sounds rehearsed before she speaks in a voice far too loud, “Oh, Miss Belladonna. I’m so glad you convinced me to accompany you tonight. I’m having a simply marvelous time.”

It takes all of three seconds before Blake snatches back one of her hands to cover her mouth, trying and failing to stifle laughter. Weiss is fairly certain she hears a snort, and she has to bite back a giggle of her own. “Quiet, quiet! Don’t let them catch on!”

Finally, Blake’s eyes alight with comprehension. Confusion makes way for deviousness, and she relocks her hand with Weiss’s. “The pleasure is all mine… Miss Schnee. My evening wouldn’t be a fraction of what it is now without you by my side.” She lowers her voice, whispering and laced with conspiracy. “How was that?”

“Not bad. Though maybe we should just call each other by our first names. We aren’t strangers.” A thought occurs--no, a chance to tease Blake occurs to her. She wouldn’t be herself if she didn’t seize it. “Copy the dialogue from those cheesy romance novels you hide in the back of your drawer.”

“You know about those?!” Ahem. “I mean. They’re not cheesy.”

“Really?”

“Okay, they’re really cheesy. But I’m dating you, aren’t I? I like a cheesy romance.”

“Aww, that’s so… sweet? I think?”

Nod nod. She doesn’t elaborate further, instead biting her bottom lip as she so often does when in thought. On the list of things that Weiss finds adorable about Blake, the little gesture is definitely near the top. Then Blake frees one hand to bring it to Weiss’s chin and gently nudges upwards. Weiss takes the hint and tilts her head, finding herself directly in the faunus’ line of sight. “Weiss…” Blake starts, loud enough for their matchmakers to overhear. “Has anyone ever complimented you on your eyes? They’re like a bright blue ocean, and I could get lost sailing in them forever and never complain.”

Were she pressed, Weiss would deny that her heart skipped a beat. And she’d be lying. All too aware that she must surely be blushing as well, she turns her head and averts her gaze. “Blake…”

“Yes?”

When she locks eye contact again, Weiss brings with her the full power of a deadpan. “That’s what you read? I understand liking romance, but that was just painful.”

Blake gawks at her, taken off guard as if her taste in literature were brought to life just to be slapped across the face. “It sounds better in context, I swear. And you’re the one that blushed at it! Don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy it.”

She’s answered by crossed arms and a haughty expression. “I deny the accusation.”

“You’re literally still blushing.”

So she is. Now would be a good time for a subject change. “How are our unfortunate voyeurs reacting? There’s no way they’re going to buy lines as ridiculous as that.”

“Yes, they will.”

“They probably will.” She rolls her eyes. Ruby is clueless, and Yang is clueless while pretending not to be. “Well, how are they?”

She keeps herself pointedly centered on Weiss as to not be too obvious when she checks out the pair of sisters not far away. “Well Ruby is practically jittering in her seat, and Yang has the smuggest grin I’ve seen in months. It’s worse than the time you lost a bet to her and had to--”

“I told you to forget the time I had to do a karaoke duet with her! I can still hear the catscratch she calls a singing voice in my dreams.”

Blake shakes her head in pity. “Actually, I was referring to the other thing. But thank you for reminding me of that. I think I still have the video saved on my scroll.”

If they weren’t at a restaurant, Weiss would bang her forehead onto the table and groan. She settles on the latter. “Whatever. Just think of other dumb romantic things we can do.”

“Hmm…” They both ponder ideas, and before Weiss’s train of thought can even leave the station, two plates of food are placed on the table. The waitress wishes them well and is off in a flash, already onto the next table. Caught up in her’s and Blake’s scheming, Weiss had almost forgotten they’d even placed their orders. A seafood platter and…

Spaghetti.

Weiss’s eyes dart to Blake’s. Blake is already staring back at her. In an act of extraordinary self control, the faunus scoots the platter off to the side and pulls the pasta between them, equal distance from each other. “You know we have to do this, right?”

“Darling, if you didn’t suggest it, I would have.”

“Good. Because the dynamic duo over there look like they’re about to implode.” Blake twirls her fork between two fingers then snaps it into a ready position. A poor meatball is a mere thrust away from being impaled.

Weiss wishes she could catch a snapshot of their faces, but she figures looking over her shoulder again would be too obvious. Oh, the price she has to pay to reenact classic movie scenes. “My liebling, care for the first bite?”

“Ladies first.”

“We’re both ladies. You can’t use that here.”

“I know. But I figured someone as pretty as you would appreciate the gesture.”

“And I think someone as _handsome_ as you wouldn’t mind being deferred to.”

Weiss quietly chuckles to herself when she scores a blush from Blake. That’s right, Belladonna, don’t flirt if you don’t expect a clapback. Though Weiss has to admit that using rather outdated gender norms to hit on each other is a new one. Perks of being gay, she supposes.

Without any more distractions, flirtatious or otherwise, they match each other’s approving looks and dig in. Blake twirls strands of spaghetti around her fork while Weiss uses a spoon in addition to keep it from sliding away. After a second of watching her, Blake picks up her own spoon and does the same. Perks of dating some of her upbringing, Weiss thinks, you learn a new mildly useless skill every day.

It’s over a minute into pasta-flavored silence that Weiss starts to wonder if the children’s movie from her childhood has lied to her. Where’s the destined strand to tie them together? She can hardly bear the thought of having misplaced her faith. What other precious fables have betrayed her trust too? Is everything she watched and read as a kid nothing but a series of lies and--oh, there it is. She freezes up, eyes widening as a single strand rises from the plate and suspends from her lips to her girlfriend’s. Blake seems equally shocked.

Well, no point in hesitating now. This is what they both asked for. Weiss inches her way forward which signals for Blake to do the same. It’s rather awkward if she’s being honest. Slurping her way across a table while staring into her partner’s eyes doesn’t translate as well to real life. Only when they’re close enough does she close her eyes and let fate and spaghetti carry her the rest of the way. A tiny squeak escapes as their lips meet in the middle. It’s far from the first time they’ve kissed, and she still hasn’t gotten used to it. Weiss doubts she ever will, nor does she wish to. Blake smells of lavender and tastes like marinara. It’s enough to make a girl swoon.

When they separate, it’s with a gasp from both. They’re each flushed red and catching their breaths, and Weiss has a feeling that neither of them expected their most passionate kiss to date to be over a plate of spaghetti on a not-fake date.

Feeling rather fluttery, Weiss rests her chin in her palm, elbow on the table. She can excuse the breach of etiquette this once. As she gazes lovingly into her girlfriend’s bright eyes, Blake returns with a smile and flattened ears. Bashful, but not at all unhappy.

“Weiss, why do I get the feeling that you suggested all this because you wanted to live out sappy moments with me?”

“Are you complaining?”

“No. Not at all.” She decides to take mercy on Weiss’s order and slides her platter back in front of her, then spares a glance a few tables over. She hmms with all the satisfaction of a cat that’s cornered its prey. “I think we broke them.”

That’s what she wants to hear. Weiss perks up, curious. “How bad is it?”

“Ruby looks like she’s gushing nonstop, and Yang is too stunned to remind her to breathe.” She holds her fist to her mouth as she laughs quietly. “I don’t think they were expecting their set-up to ‘work so well.’”

“Certainly not. It’ll just make their reactions all the more fun when we tell them the truth.” Weiss sighs contently. “Should we continue, or show mercy?”

“I think that’s enough for now. I’d rather focus on us for the rest of the night.”

“Are you sure? I think I have a ring in my purse that could pass for a wedding ring if you wanted to fake-propose.”

Blake shakes her head, dark locks of hair whipping back and forth. “Tempting. But that’s more of a second date kinda thing.”

“Fair enough. Hey, Blake?”

“Yes?”

“Let’s do this again sometime. Not the fake-fake-date, but a real date. Preferably without the two stalkers.”

“We go on real dates already, don’t we?”

“Yes, but none of them have been as fun as this. I want to try something new, take risks and let myself cut loose as long as it's with you. Are you… okay with that?”

Weiss is met with a warm, affectionate grin, and she already knows her answer before Blake says it aloud. “I’d love that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! When I saw the fake dating prompt for Monochrome Week, I knew I had to put this idea to use. Leave a comment if you'd like, I'd love to hear them!


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